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If I could share only one thing with you to make the biggest impact on your success, it would be to have you look closely at the people you spend your time with. You are a reflection of them and their attitudes and values – for good, numbness or toxicity – rub off on you!

After spending time with friends, family or coworkers – do you feel energized, powerful and inspired – or drained and exhausted?

The people you spend time with are like the soil to the dreams, business and life seeds you’re planting.

Optimistic, supportive, accepting people will help your Unique Genius bloom (along with your income, enjoyment and freedom).

Pessimistic, discouraging and judgmental people (including the ones we love) will crush your dreams, energy and success – or at least make it feel like you’re moving through molasses.

Valerie Young left a particularly insightful comment on why the people we love can be so discouraging: “The people who are least likely to support our dreams are the people who love us the most. Why? Because they love us. And taking chances like following a dream is scary to them and they want you to be safe.”

So:

  • Which of your close friends, coworkers or family members are energy vampires that leave you drained? How can you limit your exposure to toxic or discouraging energy?
  • Which of them are inspirational and encouraging, and how can you spend more time with them?

It’s important to know this, because it has an enormouse affect on your own chances of enjoyment and success.

Don’t let people kill your dreams!!  Spend time with people that will support you, no matter how crazy you want to be :)

Dear Parents…

Parents are usually the first dream killers people experience in life (luckily, mine weren’t).

Did your parents support your aspirations, or discourage you from dreaming?  Please encourage your children’s dreams of what they want to be or do – even if those dreams aren’t ‘practical’.

A Quick PebbleStorm People Exercise

Here’s a simple worksheet (a sample from more upcoming www.UniqueGenius.com materials) you can look through and print:


PebbleStorm People Exercise

Do You Agree? What’s Worked For You?

Has changing who you spend time with affected your business?

Sometimes it’s hard cutting off or limiting energy vampires – what’s succeeded for you?

Please leave a comment!

6 Responses to “Your Key To Success – Or Struggle”

  1. George Kao Says:

    Very true!

    Also important is whom we spend our time learning from… what coaches/teachers/blogs/webinars.

    For example, a lot of people who teach online business / internet marketing have the unfortunate worldview that prospective customers are like Pavlovian dogs…such that we just need to push the right buttons to make people salivate and buy. Do we really want to think like that?

    Another example: these internet marketers also speak as if the market is necessarily a win-lose place where you need to “dominate/crush your competition” or “build an empire”.

    My worldview is that we are past the age of imperialism — and we need to think (and speak!) in terms of partnerships, win-win, and co-thriving instead.

    The media we consume and the coaches/teachers we learn from is like the air we breathe — if it’s polluted we become poisoned. Being aware of our values at all times is like having a good air filter.

    Anyway, I’m glad to learn from folks like Aaron Ross and Pebblestorm!

    [Reply]

  2. Valerie Young Says:

    The people who are least likely to support our dreams are the people who love us the most. Why? Because they love us. And taking chances like following a dream is scary to them and they want you to be safe.

    I’ve always said that just as it is important to find people to support you and your dream, you have to consciously decide who, through no fault of their own, are unable to support the desire to make a living without a job-job.

    That doesn’t mean you necessarily cut these people out of your life. I would have never stop my daily phone chats with my grandmother although I did have to stop taking daily dog walks with an old friend who only sees the glass as half empty. In most cases though I find it’s knowing who you can give you what you need entrepreneurially speaking and who has other things to offer.

    I still have many friends (and plenty of family) who have no idea what I do work-wise, and that’s okay. I actively seek out and network with entrepreneurs like Yanik Silver, Susan Evans, Jeff Walker and others who can offer me the insight, information and coaching I need to grow my business. In addition to Mastermind groups I have an business buddy I talk to once a week. Even though she is in an entirely different business it’s great to have that regular touchstone.

    p.s. Love George’s comments re: values and customers. It’s easy to forget when chasing the money.

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  3. aaronross383 Says:

    George & Valerie,

    Great points! George, I especially loved the “Also important is whom we spend our time learning from… what coaches/teachers/blogs/webinars…The media we consume and the coaches/teachers we learn from is like the air we breathe — if it’s polluted we become poisoned.”

    Valerie, this was awesome and I will have to add it as a quote to the post: “The people who are least likely to support our dreams are the people who love us the most. Why? Because they love us. And taking chances like following a dream is scary to them and they want you to be safe.”

    Aaron

    [Reply]

  4. Valerie Young Says:

    Glad you liked the comment. My least favorite bit of guru advice has to do with your value somehow being tied to the net worth of your five closest friends… implied is the idea that you should ditch friends who don’t earn as much.

    Yanik suggested I connect with you months ago… and I have been totally remiss while I was hunkered down with my book. We should definitely talk!

    Valerie

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  5. Video: A Friday Frustration & Skin Cancer Update | Pebblestorm Says:

    [...] Do the People Exercise: “Your Key To Success Or Struggle“ [...]

  6. Honour Says:

    This exercise has given me the clarity to be able to reposition myself with my relationships, and to further appreciate those who are supportive and encouraging. I’ve identified 3 such people, and two of them are part of my first ‘Throw a rock’ baby step. The other is interstate, and we only have phone contact (she doesn’t have the internet on at present). There are another 3 who are toxic, but they are peripheral anyway, so I may as well end our connection; and the remaining 4 are neutral. I may begin to ease those ties, as they tend to be more maintenance than they’re worth.
    Three out of ten ain’t bad!
    But then there’s UGS of course, and Laura Hollick’s ‘Soul Art Studio’ coaching, bringing my numbers up to 5.
    This exercise has left me feeling lighter.

    [Reply]

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