How I Lie To Myself

January 26th, 2011

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Sometimes I have rough moments or days and I try lying to myself, telling myself that I’m happy.  But in those moments or days, I’m not.

(It doesn’t really matter why I have those rough times, but mostly it’s because fear, uncertainty or doubt creep up on me and tackle me for a bit, before I can kick ’em to the curb.)

I don’t mean to lie to myself, I do it automatically because I feel like I should be happy ALL THE TIME, given I have a clear life purpose, an incredible business, and an inspiring fiance.

I feel guilty during times I’m not happy, like there’s something wrong with me.  Especially with all the positives in my life, shouldn’t I be happy all the time?

That’s bullshit. I don’t know where my mind picked up the idea that I (or anyone) is supposed to be happy all the time, no matter how “successful” you are.  There will ALWAYS be an ebb and flow in your life.

That’s just not real. Part of being human is having a range of emotions, including forms of fear.

In fact, it’s the challenges you’ve been through in life, the downs, that allow you to truly appreciate the ups.

If I hadn’t worked in the corporate world (including starting a business and having it fail), I wouldn’t be as grateful for my fulfilling work with my authentic Unique Genius mentoring clients.

If I hadn’t gotten married and divorced (and had many other short-term relationships), I wouldn’t be as grateful for my inspiring partner & fiance Jessica.

So be grateful for the downs – especially if you’re in one now!

Learn something from them, and inspire, educate and entertain others based on what you learned.

What past challenges can you be grateful for?

PS: those challenges are, in some way, a part of your Unique Genius, and you can authentically help yourself by sharing your story and lessons learned with others.

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10 Responses to “How I Lie To Myself”

  1. Aaron Says:

    Hi Aaron:
    Thank you for the invitation to read the full story here on your blog. I love your encouragement as to embracing the ebb and flow of life. As your post infers, it’s in the low places that you are being prepared for the highs. Life is like hiking a mountain range – just when you get to the top of one mountain, you see a higher peak and to get to it – you must descend through another valley.

    I’ve been a subscriber of yours for quite some time, and the stories you’ve shared via your e-mail updates have inspired me and at times touched me deeply (that story about a friend who was suddenly facing the end of life).

    Anyway, your core message and beliefs resonate strongly with me. In fact, my business is based on a similar paradigm – living your passion and fulfilling your purpose through entrepreneurship.

    Thank you for your transparency, for your interesting stories, and your unique genius.


    aaronross383 Reply:

    @Marlee, thank you Marlee for your genuine words here. We (and I) am so wired to only want the “flows” that we resist the ebbs! Heh and even knowing that with my mind doesn’t always help my heart much when the ebbs come, but it does help 🙂


  2. Tueykay Says:

    Thank you for the honesty about your feelings.

  3. Maria Says:

    Thanks Aaron for this great piece! Many girlfriends and I have struggled with this exact same issue, and it’s actually nice to hear a successful man cop to these feelings.

    What makes us think we are “above” feeling lonely, isolated, unsure, doubtful and generally unhappy just because we have other great blessings in our lives? You are right – we are all human. Money, power and love cannot protect you from lives struggles, no matter what we like to tell ourselves.

    If we didn’t feel the dips every once in awhile (whether external or internal) you are so right: we’d never appreciate the growth that the joys ultimately bring.

    Thanks for sharing!

  4. Priscila Says:

    Impressive contribution, I enjoy fresh news by you.

  5. Mike Muson Says:

    Hey Aaron,

    Excellent post!

    I completely agree and believe that the beauty of life is the highs and lows. The only thing we truly control in life is how we respond to situations/adversity and it defines our character and legacy.

    Keep up the great work,
    Mike Muson

  6. Dr Phil Says:


    Thanks for this honest and candid post.

    Thanks for posting,
    Dr Phil

  7. John Strauss Says:

    Hi Aaron,
    Good post – You bet – we get conditioned to feel like we should be happy all the time because of our incredibly rich lives and when we don’t the solution is to buy something else, tangible or intangible, to restore us to happiness. That keeps us all busy and prosperous. But.. I find sometimes if I just feel my feelings and don’t judge them the guilt disappears on it’s own. I find my positive side returning because I am grateful for all the things and people I do have in my life.


  8. Erol Says:

    Great truth bro! Thank you for this Light!

    I think the struggle over being happy all the time, and feeling bad about it, comes from the Declaration of Independence.
    1) We are supposed to be independent, separate, ego thus gets hold of us & causes suffering
    2) We are stuck in the “pursuit” of happiness. So, we think happiness is out there to get. Again, separate from it. Either we struggle to get it or are lazy because we are not pursuing. But we can never really have it, because it’s “out there” to pursue.

    We ARE happiness. No feelings exist outside of us. Everything is inside us. You are so right! It’s B.S. We are all feelings, arising and passing. Happiness is always there, in us.

  9. Brenda Owens: “Be honest with yourself – what do you really want?” | Pebblestorm Says:

    […] If you missed it, I wrote a blog post in January called “How I Lie To Myself“. […]

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